Today began week 3 of unemployment.
And I hate it.
I’m in the weird space between obedience to God and the fulfillment of a promise He showed me.
It’s truly awful.
Nothing about the waiting helps my anxiety in any way.
But, as God often does, He refuses to waste a moment.
Despite my doubt and confusion, He infuses purpose into moments that I would’ve abandoned.
I’m learning to create space for me.
For my emotions and thoughts and feelings.
I’m learning that I wasn’t healthy.
I wasn’t a good steward of my rest.
And I was a hypocrite in some ways, I preached on rest but didn't live it.
And now…well…I have space.
I’m forced to deal with me.
My friends are at work during the day.
So there’s just me, my thoughts, my fears, my strengths, my gifts, my promises.
And then there’s God.
His presence beckons me every morning like a friend who couldn’t wait for me to wake up so we could hang out.
I’m learning that He doesn’t want my perfection - He really just wants my presence.
He wants to be invited into my space.
And His desire for me has changed me.
I don’t know if I intentionally or unintentionally pushed him out of certain spaces.
But He showed up anyway.
So I’m gonna wait.
And I’ll share my space.